Emotional Intelligence for Relationships

“Why bother going through the motions of all the work it takes to be with other humans if we are not actually showing up in a meaningful way?”

—Dr. Alison Cook, The Best of You podcast

Think back to the emotional environment of your childhood. How would your family have finished this sentence: “Feelings are __________.”

Dangerous? To be ignored? Untrustworthy? Irrelevant? 

I’ve asked my clients this question countless times, and I’ve gotten various answers. Very few of us were coached in how to process our emotions. For most of us, our approach to emotions wasn’t so much taught as caught—it was the non-verbal reactions to emotions that shaped how our families viewed them. Not once, however, have I heard someone say that “Feelings are necessary for connection and secure relationships.” But it’s true—the level of connection we experience with others is directly related to our emotional intelligence.

We all desire meaningful human connection. Yet even when we have ample opportunities (which is rare in the modern world), we often find that it’s harder to connect than we think. We all know the feeling of leaving that work happy hour, church small group, or—dare I say—date night lonelier or more disconnected than we felt when we arrived. 

One of the reasons connection is so elusive is because we spend most of our days avoiding our own emotional lives. We never learned how to recognize, name, or process our emotions, much less communicate them to others. Yet the way to show up in meaningful ways in our relationships, on teams at work, or in our communities is to grow in our emotional intelligence. To do that, we often need a guide. Someone who can help us not only discover our own emotions, but learn to read and influence the emotions of others.

Do you need help recognizing, understanding, and processing your emotions? Do you desire to show up in meaningful ways with the people in your life? Reach out to Good Shepherd Soul Care for a free consultation today.