Counseling for Mental Health and Fitness
Counseling is something healthy people do
I recently saw an article on online dating that gave the top characteristics women look for on a potential match’s profile.* The number one thing? A man who is in therapy.
I don’t think single women are saying that they want a man who struggles with chronic anxiety or has a personality disorder. I think they are saying that they want a partner who is committed to working on himself; someone with the humility to recognize that he needs help; someone who is at least learning how to process his emotions. If the data is true, this is a good thing—and not just for the single women in the dating pool that find what they are looking for. This is a very good thing for all of us, because it shows that an important shift in our mindset toward counseling is taking place. It appears that we are finally starting to see counseling not just as something sick people do but as something healthy people do. This is a crucial shift, and one of Good Shepherd Soul Care’s core beliefs.
De-pathologizing Counseling
Not long ago, counseling was stigmatized. It was seen as a last ditch effort that came in the eleventh hour after every other resource had been tried and failed. Mental illness was the buzzword, not mental health or mental fitness. “Treatment,” as it was often called, followed a diagnosis of a sickness. Counseling, then, was something sick people did to get better. While we are aware that some people live with a chronic and debilitating mental illness, there now seems to be a growing sense that all humans struggle and need help from time to time.
But what if we saw counseling as a preventative measure the way we do diet and exercise? What if we emphasized health instead of illness? Perhaps that is the shift that is taking place at the moment. It seems that in some communities at least, such as single women looking for a partner, counseling is a seen as a sign of progress. To continue the metaphor, some people are choosing to see a personal trainer and nutritionist rather than waiting until they need a cardiologist. We may know that “perfect” health, whether physical or mental, cannot be fully realized, but that doesn’t stop us from cultivating healthy habits that move us toward greater well being in this world.
We have all grown up outside of Eden, which means that the context in which we developed our styles of relating and our strategies for navigating the world were forged in brokenness. In that sense, we all need to process our heartache so we can avoid repeating it and passing it on to others. But this is not something sick people do; it’s something healthy people do. And for those with the courage to step into it, it’s a gift they give to themselves, their families, and the world. It’s the gift of health.
Would you like to repair the trauma in your story before you repeat it? Would you like to engage your pain and heartache before it catches up to you? Book a free consultation to get started with Good Shepherd Soul Care.
*After I lost my wife, I recognized an almost overnight shift in the social media algorithms. I started getting targeted ads for every dating app out there and suggested articles about online dating. So yes, I am guilty of taking the click bait!
